Resilience in a Crisis: Small Tweaks for Big (Enough) Results
Times are tough right now, but people are trying hard to get by. Amidst this unprecedented crisis, I’m heartened by the creativity and resilience of so many. Adaptation will certainly be the way forward. Like a skilled football quarterback who “reads” the defense before committing to a play, we can persevere by being flexible enough to make changes – even small and awkward ones – when the moment calls for it.
Quarterbacks call these modifications “audibles,” and I’ve made a few such adjustments in my day-to-day life that have bolstered my psychological wellness. Mind you, I don’t execute these audibles perfectly. Some are new or not often practiced. But I keep working at it, and the effort pays off: all things considered, my mood, productivity, health, and relationships are intact.
Don’t attempt comprehensive overhauls, not while you’re crash-course learning emergent realities of work and home. But you can make tiny tweaks that pack a wallop. Use this framework: Imagine yourself at the proverbial line of scrimmage, facing an onrush of trouble. Take a breath. Look around, see what needs your attention right now, and consider how one or more of the below adjustments can nudge you in a better direction. Think also about recruiting others to help support your efforts.
Some of the audibles I’ve called in recent weeks to respond to changing circumstances:
Count your blessings, assets, and strengths. The bad can overwhelm the good when a crisis hits, so we need to look harder for positives. Consciously take stock of your psychological armamentarium. What strengths do you use when you’re at your best? What resources are available to you that you can leverage? What qualities do you have that can help others? For me, keeping a routine is easy, so I’ve been even more conscious than usual to structure my time and goals. Write down ten such strengths or traits of yours, then decide how to use them a bit more in the coming weeks.
Limit exposure to bad news. With bad news on the rise, anxiety can also elevate unless we change our viewing habits. Stay informed, but don’t get sucked in. Just like exposure to the sun, too much unsettling news can do damage. Establish time and source limits to minimize the impact without losing the message. I’ve learned to focus on my local government’s crisis response website, which offers more specific and relevant information compared to national media outlets fraught with noise.
Commiserate… to a point. There’s more to complain about, but check that you’re reacting in a healthy way. After all, “misery loves company,” and research supports this; people are inexorably drawn to share common experiences and values. While it’s natural and healthy to connect with others in difficult times, limits are important here too. I’ve found that too much grousing amplifies rather than ameliorates my anxiety. It stresses out my family as well. Now, I consciously put myself “on the clock” – a ten-minute countdown every morning to vent, then park it and focus on the rest of my day.
Give thanks. Expressing gratitude reaps numerous benefits, and it’s one of the best things you can do to bolster psychological and physical well-being. I try to make a point to explicitly thank my spouse for anything that helps me: making dinner, reassuring me, introducing me to her favorite movies. Gratitude is feedback, and feedback is what strengthens trust and improves decisions. My next self-challenge: expand my overt gratitude to family, friends, and colleagues. We can all use a little extra appreciation these days.
Be more compassionate. Turn up your usual empathy just one more notch, even if others don’t seem to deserve the benefit of the doubt. When we see someone violating quarantine rules, for example, our fast-acting brains can assign blame and cast anger before gathering all the facts. To counter knee-jerk assumptions, brainstorm alternative explanations that assume more positive intent instead. The point is not to determine which explanation is right, or to talk yourself into sugar-coating the situation. It’s to acknowledge that our first reaction is prone to bias. Frustration and compassion are both legitimate emotions during a crisis, but we can coax the latter to counterbalance the former.
Maintain social ties – virtually. Social supports buffer against stress. Physically distance yourself from others, but keep fueling those relationships in creative ways. I call my parents a bit more frequently, just to check in. Videoconferencing with family and friends has been unexpectedly fun. I’m also posting light-hearted comments on social media more often than usual. Whatever your preferred platform, reach out to your network and let someone know you care.
Take time to recharge. This might seem most difficult of all to justify when faced with immense challenges. Yet, when you have even just a few minutes, shoehorn in the unalienable right and obligation of self-care. Others who depend on you will benefit from your brief, deliberate, diverting investment in your own wellness. Sing in the shower. Dance while you cook. Exercise. Read. Whatever puts you closer to ease, keep making some time for it, and set a good example for those in your life you’re working hardest for right now.
For more help, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website and this National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) resource guide offer targeted ideas for how to cope specifically to the COVID-19 crisis.
As I tell students and clients, “plan B” is still a plan. What new tweaks are working best for you? Please share below. We’re in this together, and we can help each other out along the way.
