In This Together
I’m not sure when or how we lost our way.
“Two heads are better than one.” Unless the other head doesn’t agree with you.
“The more the merrier.” Except when the ‘more’ doesn’t look like you.
“Love knows no boundaries.” Well, a few boundaries, amiright?
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Or no.
“Never judge a book by its cover.” Nah, I’m sure the cover is good enough.
These adages were the gospel of my upbringing. Perhaps they were more aspirational than descriptive. And sure, not everyone was a believer. Yet, wise words like these were standard lessons of the day. They were never so controversial as to be un-utterable at home or in church or at school.
Now, that norm is shifting.
Collaboration, interdependence, curiosity, civility, grace – despite what you might be hearing of late, these are virtues, not vices. Read that again. It’s by these kinds of qualities that society endures. It’s how arts and sciences and all forms of knowledge give us a chance for a better tomorrow. It’s how faith can meaningfully support people. It’s how markets thrive. It’s what can save this planet.
If you believe in those sorts of things.
Unfortunately, those virtues have been losing traction. Power is seductive. Bigotry and bias are persistent. Tribalism feels righteous. Hyperbole and lies keep us comfortable. Trolling and owning and otherwise sticking it to those we decide are weak or different than us has become an unchecked pastime.
Thing is, we’re all in this together. Our world is small, singular, and fragile. Nobody is getting out of here alive. And we certainly can’t take anything with us when our cosmically short days are over. So everything we do will ripple (or tsunami) forward and impact the next generations. How we treat each other now will surely be learned and propagated by those who come after us. How we decide to work with, or against, others will be deeply felt for decades to come.
This isn’t to say that anger and frustration and fear is to be minimized. Quite the opposite: explore those emotions, learn from them, use them to mobilize productively. But wielding them in attack mode is short-sighted and, ultimately, self-destructive. Weapons won’t sustain us; plowshares will.
Collaboration is key to a sustainable, rewarding future. Which means trading in some of the toxic things we’re so sure we need, like power and control. What we can gain, though, are even more useful and precious as we hang on to the edge of this round, crowded life raft that is hurtling through the universe: trust, hope, and understanding.
The lessons aren’t new, and they aren’t wrong. We can get back on track and live up to the ideals that have been passed down to us.
“You reap what you sow.” We all have agency. What do you want to leave as your legacy to society as a whole? Proponent of hatred and divisiveness, or engaged, good-faith problem-solver?
“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” We are all vulnerable and imperfect. All the more reason why we need to help (or at least not harm) each other.
“The longest journey starts with a single step.” Maybe we can’t turn things around immediately, but we can all do something right now that starts to build – not burn – bridges.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” None of this will be easy. It will take cooperation and humility that isn’t welcome in all circles yet. And let’s face it, some people have never been exposed to anything but the most provincial of viewpoints. Some will still hate. Some will still like it that way.
But I’m choosing to venture. I’m going to do what I can. I’m going to advocate for what I know will better serve all of us, together, in the long run. I’m sure I will make mistakes and ring up regrets along the way. Rather that, though, than sit back and capitulate to injustices and inequities.
We can do better, and we can do it now.
“No time like the present.”
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Resources to consider as you, too, venture forward to build bridges and dismantle divisiveness:
National Association of Social Workers, “Mobilizing Against Hate.” NASW does a great job focusing on how to combat hate in general as well as hate that targets specific groups like LGBTQ+, African-American, and Jewish communities.
Forbes, “Be Brave: 3 Strategies To Speak Up For Yourself And Others.” Contributor Holly Corbett outlines practical ways to speak up with gentleness but confidence.
Indeed, “Collaboration Skills: Examples and Ways to Improve Them.” An excellent primer on working together in the office, but these skills and mindsets are useful anywhere.
