Ask Yourself: “What Makes the Struggle Worthwhile?”
When we sail for new horizons, struggle happens. Achievement is almost never a straight line, but rather a series of zigs and zags. The zigs are encouraging, fair winds that propel us along. The zags can leave us adrift or throw us against the rocks.
It’s oh-so-tempting to want to avoid struggle and strain, even if it means giving up on the journey. But before you abandon ship, ask yourself this: What will the struggle get me? What if I could stick with it and get to the destination I imagined? What is the upside of this challenge before me?
Mark Manson, provocateur and author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, reframes struggle as a sharpened edge, an asset to use. “If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not ‘How do I stop suffering?’ but ‘Why am I suffering—for what purpose?’”
To add some cross-training to my exercise regimen, I dusted off my road bike last month and set out for some modest rides. I haven’t put in enough miles yet to feel comfortable on those narrow tires, clipped-in pedals, and downward-sloping frame pointing me toward the ominous pavement. Every time out, I fight some degree of anxiety. Why should I keep doing what makes me feel this way? Why risk the road rash and bruised ego? By visualizing what I hope to achieve, I see my answer. In 1,000 miles – okay, maybe 2,000 – I see myself age-grouping at a local duathlon, feeling powerful in my cadence, confident with tight turns, unfazed the next time I need to fix a flat. I want to be that guy. That’s why I’m willing to stick with it.
No pain, no gain? No, not always. Some kinds of suffering are in fact destructive and should be managed accordingly. A skilled counselor can help you differentiate this.
What goal is worth your struggle, your best efforts? What will your challenge lead you to, if you lean into it and recognize it as merely the zag before the next zig?
